A different brand of Valentine

One Valentine’s Day, I experienced three dates in one night. The catch? None of them was mine. Somehow at the end of the evening, all three of my roommates and their significant others ended up exchanging flowers and thoughtful gifts in three different rooms in our house, just as I arrived home from a rather enjoyable, chocolate-laden night with friends. Needless to say, that combination can throw off the emotional state of even the most content single woman. 

But what stands out most about that Valentine’s was not the night of the three dates but what I found the next morning. I emerged from my room to see a bouquet with a beautifully scripted note addressed to me. The unique flowers, arranged like — pardon my stereotype — only a creative female can, stood out from the other three fancy, yet slightly generic, sets of roses elsewhere in the house. 

You see, there is something about friends going off script to do something for you that says love in a way even the most well intentioned sweetheart couldn’t. It wasn’t about the flowers themselves as much as the thought behind them. They were almost as treasured as my other favorite Valentine’s present that year, a note from a friend that articulated poignantly what she admired about our friendship.

I could use these examples for platforms about how women “get” women in a way men never will and can gift them pieces of love accordingly. Actually, I have already done that, but I will stop at this point in this column.  

Not much is really known about Saint Valentine, a quick Internet search reveals, but we do know that he was martyred, giving up himself for something greater he believed in. So that’s how I am approaching this season, asking how I can give others something beyond the hearts of all shapes and colors, cheesy sentiments and stuffed animals that no one over age 10 cares about. 

Instead of just ignoring mass market Valentine’s, I am asking how I can be intentional to show love to those around me — the more unexpected the act, the better. And it won’t just be in the form of chocolate (although you will find me eating confections and stocking up on the candy sale cart on Feb. 15). 

How special would this month be if we all go out and select bouquets, literal or figurative, for people in our lives who we sense would value it most? That would easily surpass even the feeling that Disney tells us three dates in one night with Prince Charming should evoke.