Life Actually: When life hurts — and you don’t like God

There are certain clubs in this world that nobody wants to join.

One of those clubs is called The Club of Deep Pain and Suffering.

It is easy to sing God’s praises when life treats us well and all the stars align. When our wildest dreams come true. When family and friends love us. When a mystery illness is cured. When our hearts want to burst because we know we’ve been blessed beyond what we deserve.

When blessings seem to pour down from heaven, loving God is a cinch. Why not feel affection for the master of the universe when that universe seems to work in our favor?

But when we hit a rough patch, or when we fall into a season of darkness with no easy answers in sight, our view of God can understandably change. Instead of feeling warm and fuzzy, we may start to feel angry, bitter or disillusioned.

How could a “good God” let our heart shatter into pieces?

Where is He when we need Him most?

If He is all-powerful, why does He allow evil and injustice to exist and persist?

How are we supposed to serve Him when we’re not sure we even like Him?

I can’t offer many answers, because the fullness of God’s mysteries will remain unknown until we get to heaven, but I can say this: God is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). And when we hurt, He hurts. When we cry, He cries. When we grieve, He grieves.

It’s OK to be mad at God and wrestle with Him, too, especially when there is a gaping hole in our heart. Remember, He is GOD, and He can handle our ugliest emotions, our angriest rants and our toughest questions. Even if we fight with God and scream, He won’t leave us or forsake us. His love for us is constant and beyond comprehension, regardless of how we feel or act toward Him.

I can also say this: God doesn’t expect anyone to accept pain or adversity with an eager heart. Even Jesus cried out to Him in the Garden of Gethsemane, right before the guards came to arrest Him for crucifixion, saying, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Luke 22:42).

Was Jesus excited about God’s will for Him to die on the cross? Of course not. Jesus felt the same emotions we would feel, even sweating drops of blood while praying to God because He was so anguished.

At the same time, Jesus knew that God’s plan is perfect. He was willing to carry out God’s will — to the point of death — because He trusted God and understood how His suffering would serve a greater good. By dying on the cross, Jesus built a bridge to heaven. He opened the gates to eternity so that billions of souls could be saved from their sins.

It was the ultimate act of love — and the ultimate legacy.

God will never waste pain, and while this may not heal a broken heart or fix a tragic situation, we can find comfort in knowing He can restore anything and that every earthly problem we face is temporary. Even the gloomiest, most depressing situation can be sculpted into something new, beautiful and redeemed in His time.

And just as Jesus carried His cross, all of us will carry crosses. Every cross that we pick up is a turning point, a crossroads, a life-changing decision point. Our crosses can deepen our faith or break it. They can draw us closer to God or distance us, depending on whether we rely on Him for strength or shoulder our trials alone.

Pain is a process. We have to start somewhere in processing pain, and even if our first step is crying out to God and telling Him how angry we are about what He’s allowed in our lives, that is progress. It means we’re talking to God, being raw and honest and engaging in a conversation that may allow God to reveal Himself and offer hope in the midst of adversity.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” None of us can see God’s master plan, but when we remember His history and faithfulness in the past, we are reminded that His promises offer solid ground to stand on. Whatever we go through, whatever we lose, we still have the hope of Jesus, and it is this anchor for the soul that comforts and soothes a hurting and broken heart.

Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis is a Birmingham area mom of four girls, columnist and blogger for The Huffington Post. Her two books for teen and tween girls — “Liked: Whose Approval Are You Living For?” and “10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know” — are available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold. Join her Facebook community at “Kari Kampakis, Writer,” visit her blog at karikampakis.com or contact her at kari@karikampakis.com.