The most wonderful time of the year, also

The line, “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” usually refers to Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year’s. Still, many of us feel that the most wonderful time is summertime, when life is slower — thanks to the intense heat here in the South — and obligations are fewer. Yes, some parents go into a panic, if ever so slightly, realizing that summer requires kid entertainment 24 hours a day for 12 weeks, but somehow we calm down and restructure. 

Thanks to no school traffic, overall traffic is less of a problem. There is pool time, lake time, grill time and hammock time. Yes, the yard needs to be mowed every week (hopefully there is no drought), but then we get the payoff of that freshly-mowed-grass smell. Yes, the garden needs to be watered every day, but then we get fresh tomatoes, okra, eggplant, peppers and so forth. Summer is good. It is a great time to sit on the back or front porch with a fan going, with a glass of tea and visit — to linger long as the sun slowly sets and to gaze at the stars. Summers were made for visiting.

Larry Crabb, author of Inside Out and Connecting, wrote in his book The Safest Place on Earth about being on a walk with his wife in Miami down a road that held several retirement homes. As they walked, he noticed that all of the chairs on the large front porches were facing forward, with none of them turned even ever so slightly toward the next. This turning, whether slight or obvious, would have represented conversation, an opportunity for words, thoughts, ideas and life to be passed back and forth. Yet all the chairs faced forward with its occupants disconnected.

We are creatures who want to belong, to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. We desire a family or a community. No one truly wants to do life alone. Oh, we might have extraverted or introverted tendencies that require us to be with people or to be alone in order to rest, recover or restore, but beyond that, we want to be with people in a profoundly connected way. I challenge you this summer to make the profoundly connected way possible through porch time; choose a porch, either front or back, put out some comfortable chairs, and make visiting a priority. Take advantage of the slower season and visit. Start a conversation, sip some tea, spit some seeds, but also intentionally visit. 

Paul Johnson is a licensed marriage and family therapist, a licensed counselor and a nationally certified counselor. You can reach him at 807-6645, or paul@lifepractical.org. He is available for marital, family or individual counseling or consulting, or for speaking at your local organization. His office is in Greystone Centre on U.S. 280.