My South: From our pig to yours
What’s pink with jingle bells around its neck and goes hippity-hop through the mud and snow?
CHRISTMAS PIG!
Yep, our new Christmas feature by the fountain in the front yard is a pig on snow skis. It has colored lights and a festive scarf wrapped around its neck. We also got a Christmas chicken, but the pig is the centerpiece of our exterior illuminations. I love all things Christmas.
Jilda saw the pig in the yard at one of the patient cottages where she works and knew she wanted one for our yard. She could not contain her excitement when she told me about it.
The patients had bought their pig at Dollar General, so I made it a quest to find one for our yard.
The first stop we went inside and searched every aisle, but we didn’t see one. When I asked a nearby clerk if they had any Christmas pigs, she stopped what she was doing and peered at us over her glasses. I could almost see the wheels turning in her head, and her first thought was, “Now I’ve heard everything.” I imagine her second thought was, “Are these people drinking? I might want to alert local law enforcement.”
When she realized we were serious, she put down the box of ornaments she was stocking on the shelves. Walking up and down the aisles, she didn’t see a pig either. She said with a half smile on her face, “Looks like we don’t have any Christmas pigs.”
We thanked her before heading back to the car and the next store. I didn’t look back to verify, but I’m pretty sure she was shaking her head.
By the time we arrived at the second Dollar General, I had decided to play it for all it was worth. Walking inside, I changed my persona to the lead character in the movie Sling Blade. I grunted, “We want one ’nim Christmas pigs.” Without looking up, the clerk pointed toward the back. “The Christmas decorations are on aisle nine.” The people waiting in line gave us a wide berth.
They didn’t have a Christmas pig either. We tried one other place but never found the pork. I’d almost given up the search, but while browsing the decorations at the local Walmart, I noticed a box with a pig pictured on the side. It was high on the top shelf where workers store things that rarely sell. They only had one, but a few moments later it was in my buggy. Heading for the food section, I could not wait to share the good news with Jilda.
That evening as I scurried around arranging the Christmas menagerie, Jilda perked up a batch of her hot apple cider. We put on Windham Hill’s December on the stereo, which is one of my favorite Christmas CDs. When we flipped on the outside lights, the Christmas pig was the highlight.
When we decided to paint our front door purple, our niece Samantha gave us a great compliment. Looking at the door, she said, “You know people around here are going to think you’re weird.” When she saw the Christmas pig, she shook her head and smiled as she said, “People will KNOW you’re weird.” I sure hope they do.
Our pig says Merry Christmas.
Rick Watson is a columnist and author. His latest book Life Goes On is available on Amazon.com. You can contact him via email at rick@homefolkmedia.com.