A call from hope

Christie Musso sat on her bed and thought about giving up. 

After years of abuse, betrayal, heartbreak and finally, her own husband’s suicide, she thought that she could not go on anymore. 

“Why, God?” she thought to herself. 

It was then that God gave her the words that she needed to hear. 

“He said, ‘Christie, Are you still going to believe or are you going to let this break you?’” she said.

That’s when Musso decided to not let what happened in her past destroy her future. Now, the U.S. 280 resident is a motivational speaker at churches throughout the area. She has also written a memoir titled Hope Knows Your Name. Although she is now on a mission to inspire and help others in tragic situations, there were many times in Musso’s life when tragedy seemed like the only constant.

Growing up, Musso was a victim of sexual abuse by family members and friends. Her parents divorced when she was just 2 years old, and her father abandoned her shortly after. At 11, she ran away with a 15-year-old boy, was caught by authorities and was sent to a Christian girls’ home in Indianapolis. There, she faced physical and mental abuse and witnessed a close friend being tortured to death for stealing medication.

Once she left the girls’ home, Musso wanted to make the perfect life that she had always dreamed about. She began dating a boy from her Christian high school and eventually became pregnant. Knowing that neither family would be supportive, Musso decided to have an abortion at the age of 17. Shortly after, she moved in with her boyfriend’s family to avoid a bad relationship with her mother at home. There, she became pregnant again. She and her boyfriend decided to get married and have the baby.

“I wanted the white picket fence,” she said.

Guilt and resentment from the abortion eventually took over her thoughts and her marriage. Musso and her first husband divorced when her son was just 1. 

Eventually, she remarried and thought things were looking up. Suddenly, the father who had abandoned her as a child reappeared. A motorcycle accident had left him paraplegic, and he did not have anyone to care for him. Musso became his caregiver.

“In my heart, I still wanted to be daddy’s little girl,” Musso writes in her book.

Her father’s years of bad habits did not end with his injury. Although he moved in with his daughter and her family, he continued to use drugs, gamble and participate in other inappropriate behavior. Musso soon realized having him in her house was not what was best for her young son and daughter or her marriage. She hired a nurse and told her father that her husband’s job had transferred him to Tennessee, when in reality, the family just wanted to get away from the negative influences. On the first weekend since their move, Musso got a call saying that her father was dead. 

He died under unusual circumstances, and Musso believes that their nurse smothered her father with a pillow after he paid taxes on a large sum of money at a casino. 

Guilt once again took over and destroyed her marriage. Musso blamed herself and also her then-husband for abandoning her father. Once again, she filed for divorce. Her son and daughter did not understand the split and refused to speak with her. 

On New Year’s Eve 2005, Musso decided to end her own life.

“My life has been nothing but hell up until now,” she thought. 

She was stopped when an ex-boyfriend called her that night and sensed something wrong in her voice. He called the police, and Musso decided to go through treatments to deal with the emotional trauma in her life. It was in these treatments that she first opened up to the idea of God. 

“I hated God [before],” Musso said. “I was leery of religious people.”

She met friends through her church and was set up with a recently divorced man, who would eventually become her husband. Although hesitant from past experiences, she felt that she could finally be happy. 

After only four months of marriage, her husband committed suicide at his job in a federal courthouse. 

When Musso is asked how she managed through a lifetime of tragedy, she does not have a clear answer. 

“I did it because I had to,” she said. 

She did not always realize it, but she believes that she is where she is today because God has a plan for her life. As she continues motivational speaking and writing, she hopes to reach out to people and let them know that they too can find hope.

“They were me,” she said. “They’ve had the feelings I had.” 

For more information on Christie Musso or Hope Knows Your Name, visit hopeknowsyourname.com.