Healing from betrayal
Melody and Tray Lovvorn know how to turn something bad into something good. For the past seven years, they have been helping couples try to save their marriages after infidelity.
In 2002, the Lovvorns’ marriage of 11 years came to an end when Melody found out about her husband’s addiction to pornography and sex. After six years apart, they remarried in 2008 and began using their experience to help others. The couple began Route 1520 to minister to couples in crisis and help those struggling with sexual brokenness, pornography and sexual addiction They started their first recovery group for men in 2009 and added a women’s recovery group for spouses in 2010.
“We have a large network in this area. Our message is one of grace, hope and healing. We spent so many years hiding and projecting an image, that when we understood grace, it freed us to be authentic and loved as we are. We didn’t have to hide anymore,” Tray said.
As the Lovvorns grew on their journey, their organization grew as well. They expanded their ministry in 2012 to include a non-profit organization, Undone Redone. After being guests on a podcast on James Spann’s Big Brains Media Network, Tray and Melody were approached about doing one of their own. In Februrary 2013, they started a weekly podcast using the same name.
The couple records their weekly podcast from the downstairs of their home in Messy Boots Studio. They look at the brokenness and messiness of life with guests that include authors and counselors. Their subjects range from marriage and sex to parenting, kids and digital safety.
“We looked at a map in iTunes, and our podcasts have been downloaded in 90 different countries,” Tray said. “Our ministry is through redeeming technology being used as a tool for good.”
Melody recently released an online resource for women discovering betrayal called Life Beyond Betrayal. It is the collection of wisdom and understanding from her own experience, as well as years of conversations with other women in the same situations.
“I’m using my story and resources that I didn’t have at that time to help others,” Melody said.
When the Ashley Madison hacks happened in August, Melody couldn’t believe the timing. She was less than two weeks away from launching Life Beyond Betrayal. The couple also purchased ashleymadisonhelp.com to assist those seeking hope and help after the hack.
“We have resources for the betrayed partner, the cheater and friends of both,” Melody said. “The Ashley Madison story will quickly fade due to our current 24-hour news cycle, but for women (and men) across the country, this struggle will still remain very real.”
Life Beyond Betrayal is a 30-day online course designed for use from the convenience of a computer, tablet or phone. Users will receive specific, timely and relevant instruction on exactly what to do next. Melody will guide them through their emotions so they don’t get stuck or sidetracked.
“It is designed so she [the user] can go through this and I’m walking with her every day,” Melody said. “The course has an audio topic, music and videos and homework with worksheets. She can get the help she needs if no one knows, or if everyone knows.”
The Lovvorns also spend a lot of time doing pastoral care, working with churches and their staff. They also have several speaking engagements lined up and are prepping for conferences on healthy sexuality and digital safety.
Members of Oak Mountain Presbyterian Church, the Lovvorns live in Brook Highland and have four children, ages 15 to 20. Two attend Samford University and two attend Oak Mountain High School.
“God brings beauty out of the ashes,” Melody said. “We never thought we’d be here. We are so glad we have been through a really messy story and can use it to help other people, not because we have to, but because we want to.”
For more information, visit undoneredone.com or lifebeyondbetrayal.com.