Inverness man finds father figure in Big Brothers program
Father’s Day isn’t always about fathers. Sometimes it’s about brothers — brothers like Mike Vest and Mark Griffin, who met in 1979 after the Big Brothers Big Sisters program matched them.
“Big Brothers Big Sisters was a huge influence in my life growing up as a fatherless boy,” said Vest, an Inverness resident. Vest’s parents divorced when he was 8 years old, leaving his mother to raise a son by herself. Eventually she learned about the Big Brothers program, which pairs caring role models with children, and signed Vest up. He said Griffin filled a father-figure role in his life.
“He wouldn’t want me to say that,” Vest said of Griffin. “He wanted people to know that I was his little brother, and he didn’t want to try to replace my father, who wasn’t around.”
But as a young boy without a father, Vest needed the commitment and guidance of a positive male role model and Griffin provided that.
“I always tell people if you’re going to get involved as a Big Sister or Big Brother, if you’re going to do this, you better be committed,” Vest said. “If you’re going to be a father figure to the kid, be one.”
And that’s what Griffin did.
“I had a mentor there to keep me busy and make sure that I was where I supposed to be and make sure I wasn’t where I shouldn’t be,” Vest said. “It held me more accountable back in the 70s when kids were experimenting with things. It kept me busy from other things that were going on in the neighborhood.”
Griffin was there for all of the big moments in Vest’s childhood — his first date, vacation, his last high school football game.
“Whenever I wanted to do something or whenever I needed something, I’d ask,” he said. “I’d say, ‘Hey Mark, I need your car for a date,’ and he’d say ‘Here’s the keys.’”
The two immediately bonded over their love for sports.
“He was a sports nut. I was a sports nut,” Vest said. “We went to UAB basketball games, Alabama football and basketball games, even to high school football and baseball games. He would come to my Little League games and cheer me on. And then I went on and played high school football. Mark never missed a game.”
Griffin, who is a retired firefighter, was named Big Brother of the Year in 1985, and the pair represented Alabama in a Big Brothers Big Sisters book celebrating the top 100 matches of all time in 2004, according to Vest.
More than 35 years after they met, Vest still looks up to his Big Brother and wants to make him proud.
“He showed me how to be more attentive,” Vest said. “Knowing I needed a father figure or a male mentor in my life, I felt like he showed me there’s other kids like me out there and to make sure I pay it forward.”
Vest, who works as the community and corporate relations director for Knight Eady Sports Group and serves as a Shelby County commissioner, was a high school football coach in Texas and spent several years at the Birmingham Athletic Partnership, a nonprofit aimed at raising money for school bands and athletic programs. In both roles he formed relationships with students and tried to serve as a mentor when possible.
“I still get kids texting me about once or twice a week, often from college, telling me what kind of grades they made,” he said.
Vest also makes sure to share his story of being an at-risk youth helped by Big Brothers with his family. He honored his Big Brother by naming one of his sons Griffin. Another son, who recently graduated college, just became a Big Brother to a fifth-grade student in Tuscaloosa.
Vest continues to look out for fatherless children by serving as the chairman of the advisory board for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Shelby County.
“He was actually the one who kind of got it started and got us into Shelby County,” said Kim Egan, Shelby County program director for Big Brothers Big Sisters. “When we started out we just wanted to get 40 matches, and we have grown now. This year we’re looking to serve 200 matches.”
Egan said while Big Brothers Big Sisters doesn’t just work with single-parent households, a lot of children have similar stories to Mike Vest.
“We do have single-parent homes missing a father figure, so having a Big Brother is someone they can look up to — that positive male role model in their life,” she said. “But we do need men to volunteer because they’re kids waiting. And I want men to know that you don’t have to be a superhero. You just have to give a little bit of your time.”
To learn more about Big Brothers Big Sisters, visit bbbsbhm.org.