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‘The heart of the community’

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Photo by Keith McCoy.

Terri Jonseof had always been the type of person who didn’t want to accept help from anyone. She maintained that attitude until she was diagnosed with a rare form of ovarian cancer in June 2013.

The 50-year-old wife and mother of two, who lives near Greystone, said while she confided in a few close friends, she was resolved to keep her situation a secret. In fact, when a friend asked to create a Caring Bridge website to provide updates about Jonseof’s condition for friends and family, she refused and was furious when her pal did it anyway. 

However, in the aftermath of her initial surgery that included a hysterectomy, the partial removal of her colon and the creation of a permanent colostomy, Jonseof knew she had to “throw in the towel.”

“It was as simple as my kids needing rides to my husband’s increased responsibilities, being compounded by having to answer a hundred daily texts asking about me,” she said. “From families of kids my child plays ball with to people at church — I learned that while it’s a blessing for us to do for others, there is also a blessing when we learn to receive.”

Jonseof had just had a regular — and “all clear” — gynecological exam three months prior to finding a marble-sized lump in the bend of her upper leg. An examination by her gynecologist two days later landed her in the office of a colorectal surgeon. His CT scan and colonoscopy confirmed the presence of the rare ovarian cancer.  

Following the operation, her surgeon encouraged Jonseof to travel to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. Doctors in both cities, including members of Tumor Committees at St. Vincent’s and MD Anderson, established a treatment plan. The 18 weeks of chemotherapy ended in February 2014 and multiple CT scans of her chest, abdomen and pelvis showed Jonseof to be clear of cancer.

Unfortunately, it didn’t last. In February 2015, Jonseof started having problems with speech, completing sentences and typing out her thoughts on the computer. An MRI discovered a cancerous brain mass metastasized from the ovarian cancer, which her doctors said was a very rare occurrence.

“At this point, there was no ruling out anything because you don’t know what the cancer would do,” Jonseof said.

Following brain surgery and six weeks of recovery that included the gradual return of normal speech and vision, Jonseof experienced seizures that required eight sodium tablets and fluids limited to a total of 32 ounces per day. 

Finally, five rounds of high-powered radiation at the end of April brought her treatment plan to a close.

Today, Jonseof admits that two days after her initial diagnosis she had said aloud, “What have I done or what haven’t I learned to deserve this?”

“I knew without a doubt that God would be glorified through this, but sitting in a chemo chair, cold and lonely, doesn’t make it at all easy,” she said. “Yet it is a confirmation that this was not in vain, and I could trust that.”

Jonseof said she also came to see and trust the resilience and strength of her daughter Kendall and son Jameson, now 20 and 14 respectively.  

According to Jonseof, she fretted daily about her kids and the impact the situation was having on them.

“Our family life was virtually on hold and, looking at what they were having to go through, I constantly thought ‘poor, pitiful them,’” she said.  “But that couldn’t have been further from the truth.”

In fact, Kendall and Jameson put their energy to work, creating a basement bedroom for their mother for her return from surgery, Jonseof said.

“They had borrowed a bed from a neighbor and a friend brought a recliner, decorated and when I walked in from the garage, there was everything I needed,” she said. “I was blown away.”

But Kendall, now a junior at the University of Alabama, said she also worked very hard at disguising the fear she felt about her mother’s illness.

“My biggest regret now was that I was trying to hide the fact that I was so scared,” Kendall said. “I learned it’s OK to be scared and worried, and that’s what family and friends are there for – to help you get through it when you’re scared.”

Husband Ernie Jonseof said he also learned many things during his wife’s journey, including how lucky his family is “to live in a place that, at the core, cares for its neighbors.”

“We are all so willing to say ‘let me know how I can help,’ and few realize most mean it,” he said. “The heart of the community cared for us when we needed it and that is a privilege for which I am eternally grateful.”

Jonseof said she’s realized that she wouldn’t give up the past two years “because of everything I’ve learned and the closeness I’ve found to God.”

“My family and I discussed that if they wake up every day saying “Mama is sick”, the answer is yes. But if they ask “What is God doing through this cancer in my life?” then they will find that,” she said. “I would tell people to be watchful for these positive things in their lives and not to miss them, even though they’re sometimes so subtle.  There are so many blessings every day.”

Area events for Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month

Aug. 29

Sept. 1

Sept. 12

Sept. 25

Sept. 25

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