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Photo by Sarah Owens.
Thea Dudley holds a photo of her son, Matthew, whom she lost to suicide. Dudley has trained on suicide prevention education so that she can share her story to different schools and organizations, in the hopes of preventing people from experiencing the same loss she has.
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Photos courtesy of Thea Dudley.
Thea’s husband, John, was 53 years old when he took his life, three years after the loss of his son, Matthew.
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Photos courtesy of Thea Dudley.
Matthew Dudley was a people person, according to his mother, and he played baseball before a shoulder injury caused him to switch to golf. Matthew died by suicide in April 2015, just before his high school graduation.
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Churnock
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Emmett
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Photos by Sarah Owens.
Tracie Blackmon holds a photo of her mother, Judy, whom she lost to suicide in 1982. Tracie Blackmon is tired of the stigma surrounding mental health and suicide, and she is dedicated to normalizing the conversation around these topics by talking about her own experiences dealing with the loss of her mother.
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Photos by Sarah Owens.
Photos of Judy Blackmon and her family in Tracie’s home.
Tracie Blackmon and Thea Dudley are members of a club they never asked to join, one to which nobody ever hopes to get an invitation.
Even though they never wished to be numbered among the family members who have survived a loved one’s suicide, Blackmon and Dudley are glad they found others who understand their pain. Both women got involved in suicide prevention after attending an Out of the Darkness Walk hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
“At that walk, I found people that knew what I had been through,” Blackmon said. “They weren’t looking at me in any kind of judging way. I didn’t have to worry about them saying anything weird; they just got it.”
Blackmon, who lives off of Cahaba Valley Road, was 7 years old when she lost her mother, Judy, to suicide in 1982. Because of the stigma surrounding suicide and mental health at the time, and with a father who didn’t believe in counseling even after her mother’s death, she struggled to cope with the loss.
Photos by Sarah Owens.
Tracie Blackmon holds a photo of her mother, Judy, whom she lost to suicide in 1982. Tracie Blackmon is tired of the stigma surrounding mental health and suicide, and she is dedicated to normalizing the conversation around these topics by talking about her own experiences dealing with the loss of her mother.
As a result, Blackmon suffered from her own mental health issues, even attempting suicide herself on multiple occasions. It wasn’t until she became an adult and began learning about the psychology behind mental illnesses and suicide that she started to make sense of what had happened.
“I finally broke down to my dad at some point when I was an adult, and I was like, ‘Just tell me about her. You always just
say you don’t know why she did it.’
I don’t know why she did either, but you know, by God, I’m gonna find out,” she said. “After I did that, I just told everybody, ‘We’re gonna talk about it.’ I realize now that’s my purpose in life … because the stigma needs to go away and people need to be able to get help. If you’re having a heart attack, you’re gonna go to the hospital. Well, if your brain is under attack, would you not want to go to the hospital? It’s an organ just like your heart is.”
Blackmon now knows that there’s never just one cause of suicide, and she understands the impact it can have on people, with statistics saying as many as 150 people can be affected by a single death. That’s why she has spent the last decade advocating and working to ensure state legislators pay attention to the topic.
Thea Dudley, a resident of Trussville, has also spent the last several years advocating for suicide prevention after she lost both her son, Matthew, who she affectionately calls “Matty,” and her husband, John, to suicide.
Dudley’s experience with suidice loss began in April 2015, when Matty took his life just one month before his high school graduation. With college looming, final testing going on and in the middle of a golf tournament, Matty was feeling the pressure of transitioning into a young adult.
“About six weeks before he died, I noticed [he was] not eating, not sleeping,” she said. “We started counseling to try and get him to feel better about all that was going on. And he would say stuff like, ‘I just wish I was already grown, that I didn’t have to do this college thing.’ … And I was like, ‘Well, you just got to be a little patient,’ and patience was not a virtue for him at all.”
John Dudley was the one who found Matty on the day he died, and Thea feels that was a contributing factor to his mental health issues. John turned to drinking after Matty’s death, while Thea sought out grief counseling. Their communication dwindled, and she didn’t realize how bad he was struggling with alcohol abuse and depression until after his death in 2018.
Research shows that those who seek treatment and learn coping mechanisms are less likely to think about or die by suicide. This is why Thea Dudley has embraced talking about her family’s story, encouraging people to seek help when they need it.
“We can reach other people if we put forth the effort,” she said. “If one person saves one person just by having a conversation, then our loved ones don’t die for nothing.”
Photo by Sarah Owens.
Thea Dudley holds a photo of her son, Matthew, whom she lost to suicide. Dudley has trained on suicide prevention education so that she can share her story to different schools and organizations, in the hopes of preventing people from experiencing the same loss she has.
What you need to know about suicide
One person dies by suicide every 11 minutes in the United States, according to post-COVID-19 data from the Center for Disease Control (CDC).
The CDC’s most recent Fatal Injury Report found that over 49,000 people died by suicide in 2022, and the World Health Organization reported that the pandemic triggered a 25% increase in the prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide.
With these issues becoming more prevalent, the conversation around them has also increased, chipping away at the stigmas surrounding mental illness and suicide.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness and the CDC both report that one in five U.S. adults experience a mental illness each year, and one in six U.S. youth ages six to 17 experience a mental health disorder each year.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for people aged 10-24 in Alabama. Based on the most current verified CDC data from 2021, it is the 13th leading cause of death overall. Of recorded deaths, 75% of suicides were by firearms, and 47% of firearm deaths were suicides.
In 2023, 75% of Alabama communities did not have enough mental health providers to serve residents, according to federal guidelines.
Churnock
Alice Churnock, the founder of BrainCore Birmingham and a licensed professional counselor who is certified in Neurofeedback, notes that mental health issues, and specifically suicide, have such a large impact on youth populations due to brain development.
Churnock said that the human brain is formed from the back to the front, and the prefrontal cortex (which is responsible for logic, decision-making and impulse control, among other things) does not fully develop until around age 25. Prior to that development, the amygdala limbic system, or the emotional center of the brain, is responsible for all decision making.
“When you’re an adolescent, we know that you have about a 15-second timeline in making a decision,” she said. “All the decision, all the future planning is done within that 15 seconds, so naturally, you can see how that impulsivity a lot of times is what happens with an adolescent.”
While research shows that brain development is important in understanding youth suicides, Churnock emphasizes that all people are unique and develop differently. Some younger individuals may be more logical or possess a calmer, less emotional response to stressors, and being 25 or older does not guarantee an absence of impulsive choices.
In fact, recognizing individuality is essential in addressing mental health issues and preventing suicide. While we’re often told to look for common warning signs like increased isolation, mood swings, substance abuse, giving away belongings and changes in sleeping habits, both Churnock and Meesha Emmett, AFSP’s Alabama area director, stress that people can be struggling without exhibiting any of these signs.
Emmett
“What we the public see as a potential cause that might lead someone to death by suicide is oftentimes not; it’s never the full picture,” Emmett said. “Research has shown that it’s a combination of environmental factors, biological factors and historical factors all converging at the same time to create that moment of despair.”
Churnock also emphasizes that there are wonderful parents and individuals who have lost children or loved ones to suicide, and the worst thing we can do is blame those who are already dealing with the guilt.
“All we’ve grown up hearing is the phrase ‘committed suicide.’ The word ‘committed’ in and of itself, we usually use that word to describe things that are negative, like you commit crimes,” Emmett said. “It perpetuates a stigma and implies judgment, and that’s really dangerous, particularly with loss survivors. … We just don’t need to assign that kind of judgment to something as complex as suicide because we never know the full picture.”
On top of being aware of the way we speak about these topics, Emmett said the most important thing you can do is be kind and show up for people in your life, let them know you care and are ready to listen.
If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health or contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or visit 988lifeline.org for help.
By the numbers
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for people aged 10-24 in the state of Alabama.
Based on the most current verified CDC data from 2021, it is the 13th leading cause of death overall in the state.
Of recorded deaths, 75% of suicides were by firearms, and 47% of firearm deaths were suicides.
In 2023, three-quarters of Alabama communities did not have enough mental health providers to serve residents, according to federal guidelines.
Suicide prevention resources
This list was provided by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Find the complete list at afsp.org/suicide-prevention-resources
- 24/7 Crisis Hotline: If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. Veterans, press one when calling.
- 24/7 Crisis Text Line: Text TALK to 741-741 to text with a trained crisis counselor from the Crisis Text Line for free. For more information, go to crisistextline.org.
- Veterans Crisis Line: Send a text to 838255 to access the
- hotline or go to veteranscrisis
- line.net for more information
- Vets4Warriors: Visit online at vets4warriors.com
- SAMHSA Treatment Referral Hotline (Substance Abuse): Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to access the hotline or go to samhsa.gov/find-help for more information
- RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: Call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) to access the hotline or go to hotline.rainn.org for more information
- National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: Call 1-866-331-9474 to access the hotline or go to loveis
- respect.org for more information
- The Trevor Project: Call 1-866-488-7386 to access the hotline or go to thetrevorproject.org for more information
This story is part of our September series for suicide prevention month. Read our stories on the aftermath of a string of suicides at Chelsea High School, suicide rates among veterans and suicide rates among senior citizens for more information.
