Kar Kampakis headline
When people talk about teenage girls today, the conversation often turns to how addicted they are to their phones.
But what nobody seems to ask is, “Why?”
Why are girls addicted to their phones?
Why do they obsess over Instagram “likes” and social media numbers?
Why can’t they put their phones down, even in the company of friends?
If you ask me, there isn’t one obvious explanation, but rather a combination of forces. And if we want to understand the dynamic, we should consider the heart and the mind of a teenage girl, and think about what’s important at that age.
For instance:
► Friendships are important — so important that they can make or break a girl’s high school experience. Technology gives girls an easy way to connect with friends and stay in touch even outside of school hours.
► Love and acceptance are important. Achieving a lot of “likes” on Instagram makes a girl feel love and accepted. It offers tangible proof, in her mind at least, that her life matters.
► Belonging is important. Social media creates an automatic community. It gives girls something to be part of that is bigger than themselves.
► Impressing people is important. The quest to impress has always existed, and now girls can take their quest online. They can curate a perfect image and test-drive identities until they find one that draws attention and applause.
► Entertainment is important. Boredom is solved quickly by pulling out a digital device and seeing what everyone is up to.
► Being liked is important. And let’s be honest: We all desire this on some level. We all want to be liked and affirmed. And if we’re on social media, we too are probably guilty of posting things to elicit praise or make people think we’re something special.
The thing about teenage girls is, they’re very relational. They care deeply about what other people think. While praise can go straight to their head, criticism can go straight to their heart. What results is an emotional roller coaster that can put them at the mercy of what other people say and think about them.
My goal as a writer for teen girls is to help end this roller coaster. I hope to equip girls with truth and empower them through faith so that regardless of what the world says, they stay true to their identity in Christ.
And I’m thrilled to announce that on November 15, I’ll release a new book designed to help girls with this mission! Published by Thomas Nelson, it’s called “Liked: Whose Approval Are You Living For?”
This book is close to my heart because it addresses the biggest issues girls struggle with and the unprecedented challenges of growing up in the digital age. It’s packed with Biblical truths and practical advice related to identity, friendships, social media and a relationship with God.
By reading “Liked,” girls will learn to launch their life in a positive direction. They’ll understand the difference between human approval and God’s approval, online friends and real friends, and living to make a temporary splash and living to make an eternal difference.
If you enjoy my column and like the message behind “Liked,” I’d be SO incredibly grateful for your support. Here are a few ways to help:
► Pre-order the book online now at Amazon, Books-A-Million, Barnes & Noble or Christianbook.com. My publisher has created great pre-order incentives (like printables for your daughter) available at liked-book.com for early buyers.
► Order “Liked” at your local bookstore. If they don’t have it in stock, ask them to order copies.
► Consider leading a small group study of “Liked” for your daughter and her friends in 2017. All you need is a passion for girls and a few moms to help with logistics! My first book, “10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know,” has been used widely across the country for small group studies. I’ve heard fantastic feedback about the girls growing closer to Christ and each other, and my prayer is that “Liked” will have a similar impact.
► Talk about “Liked” with your pastor, priest, youth leader, school counselor, cheer sponsor, dance instructor or anyone who works with young women and cares about who they’re becoming. Suggest a small group or church youth group study in 2017.
► Pray for my young readers and the women leading studies. Ask God to open up their hearts to the messages He wants them to hear.
► Spread the word on social media about “Liked.” Tag me in your post and use the hashtag #likedbook.
► Write a book review on Amazon and Goodreads if you like the book. Positive reviews can make a big difference in swaying potential buyers to try a book.
► Follow me on Facebook or Instagram to keep up with the latest news and announcements.
Today’s girls are smart, talented and full of potential. While they may be glued to their phones and take a few too many selfies, I believe it’s important to look beyond the surface and reflect on the desires in their hearts that drive their search for approval and help explain the trends we see.
I’m so excited about sharing “Liked” with you and that special girl in your life. I’d love for you to join me in rallying around this message that can change lives and empower girls of all ages to live boldly and bravely for Christ.
Our girls deserve more than the superficial lifestyle this world pushes on them. Let’s help them dream beyond getting a lot of “likes” on Instagram, and let’s encourage them to value their worth not on how widely liked they can be, but on how deeply loved they already are.
Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis is a Birmingham mom of four girls, columnist and blogger for The Huffington Post. Her first book, “10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know,” is available everywhere books are sold, and her new book, “Liked,” will release Nov. 15 and is available for pre-order through Amazon, Books-A-Million, Barnes & Noble and Christianbook.com. Join Kari’s Facebook community at “Kari Kampakis, Writer,” visit her blog at karikampakis.com or contact her at kari@karikampakis.com.
