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Photo courtesy of Rachel Gunn.
Rachel Gunn
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Photo courtesy of Rachel Gunn.
Rachel Gunn
Q: Please tell our readers about yourself.
A: I am a parent educator who parlayed my master’s degree in education and middle school classroom experience into a career I am genuinely passionate about: encouraging and equipping parents. … My most important job, though, is that of mom. I live in Birmingham, Alabama, with my husband, Brent, our two teenage daughters and [our] Sheepadoodle, Pearl, where we embrace the joys and chaos of family life.
Q: I know that you are beginning a podcast that will be recorded in Trussville. Where will the podcast be recorded and why did you decide to start the podcast?
A: Seeds of Impact is planning to release a podcast for moms in recovery. We plan to record the podcast at BGTV Studios in Trussville. [According to their website], they are a “podcast studio of united voices coming together to spread the message of Jesus Christ around the world.” We love the work they do and are looking forward to working with them to get our podcast out.
Q: You emphasize “intentional parenting” throughout your book, “Impact Parenting.” What does that mean in practice for busy families?
A: When we understand that our actions have an impact, we can start to be more intentional with our responses. One thing I teach is that how we treat their small problems tells our kids how we will treat their big problems. Most of us want our teenagers to trust us enough to bring their problems to us. But that doesn’t just happen. We can’t just wake up on their 13th birthday and say, “Being a teen is hard; you can trust me with your problems,” if we haven’t built that trust. So by predetermining that we will always treat our children’s problems with respect, we are building a foundation of trust through consistent, intentional interactions.
Q: How does impact parenting differ from more traditional or rule-based parenting approaches?
A: Rule-based approaches can tend to focus on behavior modification and often rely on consequences or punishment to maintain control. Impact parenting differs in that it is far more relationship-focused, relying on trust and relationship to guide our children over time. Rules play a role, for sure, but they are more foundational than fundamental. They support the relationship; they aren’t the relationship.
With impact parenting, we start early, around age one, by establishing our authority. This means setting clear boundaries and holding them constantly and calmly. The goal at this stage is to establish a healthy parent-child relationship in which the parent is clearly the authority. This foundation is what allows us, over time, to focus less on control and more on building the relationship and helping our children develop wisdom and character.
Q: You focus heavily on relationships and communication. Why do you see those as foundational to a healthy home?
A: I often say that how we respond in everyday moments teaches our children whether we are safe people to come to. When a home is built on trust and open communication, kids don’t just learn how to follow rules; they learn how to think, reflect and make wise choices. And while giving them space to make their own choices while they are still under our authority may seem counter-intuitive, it is actually one of the most important ways we prepare them for life outside our home — when we’re no longer there to guide or protect them.
Q: If parents take away just one principle from “Impact Parenting,” what do you hope it is?
A: If parents take away just one principle from “Impact Parenting,” I hope it’s this: parenting is less about how our children behave and more about how we respond to them. Our responses shape the relationship, and the relationship is where our real influence comes from.
– Read the complete Q & A online at 280living.com.
