Paul Johnson healine
So I have no idea of what to write about this month. None.
Zero. Zippo. Zilch.
Nada. Nothin’. Negatory.
So I sit here wondering, “What do I do when I don’t know what to do?”
Which is actually a rather pertinent question: what does one do when one does not know what to do?
Quick answer: breathe, it’ll come to you.
A scene from the Pixar movie A Bug’s Life comes to mind. Near the opening of the movie, we see a line of ants carrying assorted food items to what looks like a rock table, piled high with, well, food. A leaf is seen falling from the sky, and it falls across the route the ants are taking to the table. We hear an ant say, “No, no, no, no, no!” as the leaf falls in front of him/her (hard to tell with ants, although my boys would say it’s a boy because it has a boy voice). The leaf lands, and the ant panics, shouting, “I’m looooooooost!” (because, you know, ants don’t follow a trail visually but through their sense of smell, and so when the leaf landed, it blocked the smell-trail the ant was following—I think; if anyone knows better, please send me an email, and I will gladly stand corrected—can you tell I still have no idea what I’m writing about as I continue to ramble on about absolutely nothing seemingly relevant? But let’s see where it leads.).
“I’m lost!” can describe the feeling of not knowing what to do. We often define ourselves by what we are doing. And so if we find ourselves with nothing to do, we struggle to feel “all right” with ourselves, and hence, feel a little bit lost, out of sorts, off kilter, out of whack, not quite sure of ourselves, wanting to do something, but just not sure of what. And so we feel “lost” and often panic.
What do we do with that (when a mysterious island in the Pacific is not available to us)? Because most of us hate that feeling, in our panic (or semi-panic), we scramble. We hover. We find a way to get busy or at least feel busy, which serves as a cheap substitute for real purpose. In our scrambling, sometimes we hit a real target (like getting a bathroom cleaned); sometimes we just aggravate those around us.
Cut to the chase—what’s best? Sit down. Get centered. Realize you are okay and that you do not need your busyness to be your definition. Then, listen. Listen for what arises within you—what do you want to do that is in alignment with your design, your calling, your purpose? Be still, at least internally, until you hear something. And then, once you hear something, ask, “Is this good, is it beneficial, is it in fulfillment of a bigger picture, is it necessary, does it make sense for me and those affected by me?” If so, go for it. If not, go cook dinner (someone is always hungry).
Okay, I guess that about does it. Kids are fed, and hey, look, article is written (albeit, a few days overdue to the publisher). But breathing occurred and panic was not experienced (at least not be me). So on to the next thing.
Whatever that is....
